A Crime Against Andrew Marvell

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You read him in your basic English course, probably as early as high school. Now I'm here to express my opinion of his text. Below is a protion of "To His Coy Mistress", followed by my own rendition. (Andrew, I know you are already resting in peace but literature teachers won't let you. So allow me to express my view).

To His Coy Mistress"
by Andrew Marvell (1621-1678)

Had we but world enough, and time,

This coyness, lady, were no crime.

We would sit down and think which way

To walk, and pass our long love's day;

Thou by the Indian Ganges' side

Shouldst rubies find; I by the tide

Of Humber would complain. I would

Love you ten years before the Flood;

And you should, if you please, refuse

Till the conversion of the Jews.

My vegetable love should grow

Vaster than empires, and more slow.

_____________________________________

The Lady's Reply to a Prick

Indeed, we have not world enough and time,

But thy hastiness is a greater crime.

For once I go with thee to thine way,

I greatly doubt if I could still run away.

For I would rather have worms try my virginity,

Than be with a man who is not for me.

Wait longer before thy pleasures could have,

But if thou cannot wait for my love,

Leave me to the worms to rot and there I shall stay:

Thy vegetable love will rot sooner anyway.

Expectations

“High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation.”
Charles F. Kettering

Expectation. The biggest “E” after earth. Probably larger than it. Everybody is just dying to meet other people’s expectations; as if they’d literally drop dead if they could not.

There is always an expectation to live up to. People make their expectation on us (and we make ours on theirs), primarily on age and social status. You probably have been hit by a chalk when you could not recite the whole multiplication table to your 3rd grade teacher.

When I was in college, you are always expected to act “decent”: you should not eat while walking; girls cannot comb their hair in public; you cannot go to the motel if you are still wearing the school uniform.

I’m not encouraging those things, especially the last one, but those expectations are plain hypocrisy. It’s just a bunch of crap that old people, called the faculty, pass on to students, so they can finally have their revenge on society.

If somebody tells you that you are not behaving as you are expected to do, raise your middle finger and say: I expect you to shut up because you are a moron.
People who believe in expectations are fixated losers. Every human being is supposed to be rational, and as a part of that exclusively human agenda, we are all expected to use our brain.

Expecting someone to be like everybody else in a group is called moronic thinking. It’s thinking, but moronic nonetheless. Not exactly the best way to use one’s head. The best that you can do is stop pressuring other people because of your expectations.

I’m sorry Charlie, but I’m just glad that you’re dead now.

The Bone Beneath the Skin

How I got it
Last July 3, I broke three fingers when I fell off my bike. I ran into a railing that was placed on the road. I did not see it right away so I ran into it. It was 5:30 am. The sun has not shone yet, the railing was rusty, and it was in the middle of the national highway, occupying about half of the northbound lane. You probably get what I mean.

What you ought to do if you were in my place
The first thing that you should do is never to be in my place. But if you get into an accident, do not panic, unless you get run over by a bus rushing at 80 miles per hour. That is so not cool. But aside from that, you can easily provide first aid treatment to yourself (quit calling your Momma).
In less than half a second after I ran into the railing, I already had a fourth joint in my finger. I straightened the fracture right away. The doctor said that was the right thing to do.
When I set out on my trip, I had every tool that I might need to fix my bike, but none to fix myself. When you go out mountain biking, it is imperative that you bring a first aid kit with you. Don’t be bothered if that makes you look like the medic guy back in high school.

Stuff these in your cycling jersey
Most bicycle injuries include fracture and wounds, so these are all you will most likely need:
adhesive tape
sterile gauze
antiseptic solution (povidone iodine or hydrgen peroxide)
pain reliever

Should you break your finger
Pull them gently forward to straighten your bones. Apply ice on the swollen part but use a towel or your cycling bandana. Never ever place ice directly on your skin. You saw what happened to Jack in Titanic, right?
Take some pain reliever to ease the pain. You can use ibuprofen but I recommend tramadol hydrochloride because it is more potent. I’m not a doctor, of course, so you can make your own prescriptions to yourself, too.
After that, go to the funeral home or the hospital; whichever suits you. But I recommend the ER since you would rather be with pretty nurses than bide your time with freaky embalmers.

Final words
Don’t stop biking. I broke three fingers but I still have 7 more, so why should I stop? Dog tags may come in handy should you lose consciousness. Wear one and do not miss the chance to feel like a Navy Seal. Do not ask me where to get one. Your mini pincher probably knows. Finally, don’t be a LOSER. Do not blame the trail or the stupid railing. You’re the one who got yourself there so for once in your life (which is about to end), TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.